E-Store Link

Here is the link to purchase my book "Not Easily Forgotten" available now online in the Create Space e-store. Only $5.99 and it will be delivered in 5-7 days.

http://www.createspace.com/4341572.

Chinks in My Armor

I have grown up a lot in the past few years. But before I tell you how, let me say that growth wears different hats in life and it is not only just measured in chronological order, (age determinate), but also in terms of progress, success, achievements and personal bests. I am happy to say that my growth has included all four metrics in varying degrees, and that it did not just happen by nature. As it is in our age progression, we should naturally grow in wisdom and understanding.

Sometimes it was mostly an uphill struggle because I was trying to do it all on my own. There were lots of times when I was ready to give up, throw in the towel, concede defeat, but I didn’t. I persevered and as I continued to do so, I had no idea that although I was metaphorically speaking on a battlefield, I was in fact growing even in the middle of my fight, and even because of it.

Before I learned to pray, I had to learn two very important lessons; what prayer was and how it worked into my life and how to do it effectively. What I actually had to learn about spirituality and how God would work in my life was how to listen for his voice. I was clueless as to how I needed to “fix my life” and as so many of us have done, I finally tried seeking God’s help when nothing else would work. It was the best decision I had made in a very long time, one I would never regret and one that would continue to reward me for the rest of my life as long as I stayed close by his side.

You must understand that although I was raised to attend church dutifully and to pray, I was not taught anything about a relationship with God, and that prayer is a two-way conversation that means listening for as well as talking to God. I had no idea at all that Satan (the enemy) is very real and that his job is to keep opposition, negativity, self-reproach, doubts and worry front and center in our lives, and that it is a daily; sometimes hourly fight against him and his demon friends to keep him in his place.

Knowing that God loves me unconditionally, that even if I don’t see things happening right away, and that he is definitely working in my favor has become one of the most enlightening revelations in my life. I wasted so very many of my younger years trying to solve my problems, bear all my burdens, alone. To me prayer was limited to “The Lord’s Prayer” and if I did pray my own prayers they were almost always selfish ones and I was totally ignorant of the fact that I was asking him to do things and give me things that he was absolutely no part of.

Now I know when to pray to the Father, and when to pray to God; always with thanksgiving and bringing my supplications to him “in Jesus name”. In other words, I have learned how to pray effectually and with patience and that prayers do not have to be a long drawn out speech but a simple and honest conversation from the heart. God just wants to know that we love him and his son Jesus, and that we have given him our hearts and our willingness to listen and obey.

I used to be a “judgmental extremist” meaning that I judged everyone and anyone by my standards. I was manipulative, full of strife, argumentative, selfish and miserable. I was lonely and often felt left out because others got tired of my extremist personality and obnoxious ways, so often I felt secluded, but to my way of thinking they were the ones who were wrong, not me. What surprised me the most on my journey of self-discovery was that I was compensating with attitude for things lacking in my life, and the important things were lacking in my life because I had no self-control.

Learning that stability and self-control are major factors in having real peace and victory in my life was a startling revelation. Coming into knowledge of the truth about who I am, and how life can be lived with joy and happiness regardless of my circumstances has been wonderful. I have begun the learning process that teaches me that I don’t have to say everything that I think, especially if it will be something hurtful, sarcastic or will cause a rift in a relationship.

I am making progress in controlling my thoughts. And I am grateful for the roller coaster ride because it has shown me how fabulous it can be when the ride slows and steadies itself.
With a humble and a grateful heart, I am who I am, and that person is pretty special!

This article can also be read under the 'My Portfolio of Short Stories' section tab of the navigation bar at the top of the Home page.

What Will Happen to Me?

In 2010, a research study on the number of children in the United States with a parent behind bars was alarmingly high. According to the source I used as reference for this article http://www.rawstory.com, one in twenty-eight (1/28) kids in America has a parent in prison. This translates to 2.7 million kids or more than one in one-hundred (1/100) parents are incarcerated.

The children become victims themselves over time because of the stress they deal with in having a parent behind bars. Among the disabilities that plague them is how their schoolwork and attendance is affected. This is probably the worst non-physical stigma that they face. They become disillusioned, saddened, belligerent, socially disconnected and that's just naming a few of the maladies they face. It's a given that these attitudes will severely compromise their attention and desire to excel in school. Compared to the overall population that comprises these 2.7 million children, twenty-three percent (23%) are expelled in comparison to the number of expelled student for other reasons. A further breakdown shows that African American students make up one in nine, Hispanics make up one in twenty-eight, while Caucasian students account for one in fifty-seven.

Long term effects that jeopardize the welfare and productivity of these children are a lack of emotional bonding, poor peer relationships, anti-social behavior, low self-esteem, diminished cognitive abilities, anxiety and withdrawal. Of course, not absolutely every child will demonstrate such dramatic symptoms or behavior. Some of the children who live with the knowledge that they have a Mother or Father in prison use that fact to make sure they don't follow in their footsteps. They are focused on making sure they don't fall victim to a pre-determinate behavioral pattern. In other words; they want to do better.

Most children who fall into the category of statistical figures mentioned earlier ask the question "what is going to happen to me" now that Momma or Daddy has to go away for three-five years. Was it something that I did? Another heartbreaking question. Those three-five years can make a world of difference in the life of a five-nine year old child. These are after all, critical development times, where some life-long attitudes are developed and nurtured.

Logically speaking, first of all, the children who are involved need to be made to feel that they are not to blame. They need assurance that they will be taken care of, that they will be loved and that they will be encouraged to excel in their school work, to make friends and learn to trust others.

They will need to understand how the justice system and the correctional systems work; that if you commit a crime you must be punished. An attitude of self-righteousness will only prove to harm the child in the end. He/she must come to terms with what happened with a parent, and although it is not necessary to delve too deep into the ramifications of committing a crime, enough should be said in terms they will understand and relate to. Doing this can ward off any adverse psychological damage that could result if the situation is not properly diffused.

Post-incarceration is just as important for the children of parents upon their re-entry into society as it is for the inmate. Interventions and highly visible support is tantamount here. The focus and the significance go back once more to the best avenue for maximum effectiveness...the family unit.

This happened to me when I was nine-years old. My Father went to prison. Read my personal story in my newly released book, ready for purchase now in the Create Space e-store. Please follow this link to buy your copy. You'll really enjoy this book, and its only $5.99! http://www.createspace.com/4341572